Mon. Dec 9th, 2024


BREAKING NEWS

ZOMBIE LOVE CONQUERS ALL: IT’S A ZOMBIE WEDDING!

Weekly World News Exclusive Report

[Image: A horde of undead grooms and brides shambling down the aisle, with a minister in a gas mask officiating the ceremony]

Washington D.C. – In a shocking turn of events, the Weekly World News has just received word of a most unholy matrimony: It’s A Zombie Wedding!

In a ceremony that will leave you screaming for more, a horde of undead grooms and brides has gathered to exchange vows and seal their love for eternity. The ceremony, officiated by a brave minister in a gas mask, took place in a desolate, post-apocalyptic wasteland.

"We’re thrilled to bring you this exclusive report," said Weekly World News Editor-in-Chief, David H. Koch. "It’s a zombie wedding like no other, and we’re honored to be the first to break the news!"

The undead bride, "Braaaaadley" (real name: Barbara), 28, looked stunning in her tattered white wedding dress, her eyes glowing with an otherworldly light. The groom, "Raaaandy" (real name: Randy), 30, wore a dashing tuxedo, his skin a lovely shade of greenish-gray.

The ceremony was attended by a motley crew of zombie friends and family, all of whom were equally enthusiastic about the union. The reception, which featured a buffet of rotting flesh and a playlist of mournful dirges, was said to be a real scream.

When asked about the future of their relationship, Braaaaadley and Raaaandy gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes and moaned in unison, "Braaaaains… forever!"

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It’s A Zombie Wedding, Hosted By The Weekly World News



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