BREAKING NEWS
WIBTAH (Would It Be Too Awkward/Hurtful) for Cutting Father and Side of Family from Life: A Shocking Story of Betrayal and Pain
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In a stunning turn of events, a brave individual has made the heart-wrenching decision to cut ties with their father and his side of the family due to years of emotional abuse and hurtful behavior. The news has sent shockwaves throughout the community, leaving many questioning the extent to which WIBTAH in such situations.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- The individual, who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed that they had been subjected to years of psychological manipulation and gaslighting by their father and his family.
- Despite repeated attempts to address the issues and seek support, the situation only worsened, leading to a final decision to cut ties and prioritize their own well-being.
- The decision has sparked a heated debate about the ethics of WIBTAH and whether it is ever acceptable to sever family ties in the face of abuse and neglect.
THE STORY BEHIND THE HEADLINES
According to sources close to the family, the individual had been struggling with feelings of low self-esteem and anxiety since childhood, which they attributed to the toxic behavior of their father and his family. Despite numerous attempts to address the issues and seek support, the situation only worsened, leading to a final decision to cut ties and prioritize their own well-being.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Share your thoughts on WIBTAH and whether it is ever acceptable to sever family ties in the face of abuse and neglect. Should individuals prioritize their own well-being and take drastic measures to protect themselves, or is there a more compassionate way to address these complex issues?
TAGS
- WIBTAH
- Family drama
- Emotional abuse
- Gaslighting
- Psychological manipulation
- Toxic family dynamics
- Boundary setting
- Self-care
- Mental health
- Trauma
- Abuse
- Neglect
- Family ties
- Betrayal
- Pain
- Healing
- Self-love
- Self-compassion
- Empowerment
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A lot of backstory incoming so tldr at the bottom.
My (32f) father (58m) cheated on my mother (50f) throughout their 30 years of marriage. My mom finally put an end to their marriage a few years ago after having taken him back or forgiven him time and again. Their relationship was never great since they would have massive fights that were bordering on physical most of the time.
Since my mother left she has been staying with my husband, myself and our first baby (14months). She has been amazing and really helped us through being new parents. I have been very close to my mother my whole adult life and she's the only reason I haven't already cut contact (she kept saying that my father would love to know my child and he would be a good grandad).
About two years ago (2 years after they split) my mom found another partner that treats her like the queen she is,she is very happy with him but still has serious trust issues. About a year ago my father met a woman from another country who can't speak our language at all (they use Google translate to communicate). I have met this woman once at my father's insistence (even though I was not comfortable with it) but it was really a non event as we couldn't communicate due to the language barrier. We tried a few ways to chat and get to know each other but it was really difficult.
For about a month my father has barely spoken to any of us, including my brother (who he was close with), I would constantly have to initiate contact etc. Sending him pictures of my little one or just a casual how are you. He knew I was going into hospital due to complications after a surgery I had but didn't even contact us to find out if I was OK (we are still fighting this battle).
Two weeks ago my parents' divorce finally went through and now my father has messaged me (the first time he has initiated contact in a long time) to say that he has proposed to this other woman. My husband is very upset with him because of how cowardly he's been by not doing it in person and especially by not speaking to us about it first and softening the blow a little.
He also didn't give my mother the heads up (probably thinks she doesn't deserve to know) so it fell to me to break the news because I won't keep secrets from my mother or lie to her after everything she went through. Especially because she can see how upset her children are.
I've not really responded to my father, other than saying I'm glad he's happy but I need time to process, as I don't really know what to say and with going back and forth to the hospital and returning to a mentally exhausting job, I just don't have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with this right now.
My emotions are all over the place right now and because my husband is usually my tether when it comes to these sorts of things, we spoke about it yesterday and he's been playing devil's advocate saying that he understands why I feel the way I do but I must remember that although he isn't a very good person (a lot of other reasons on top of the cheating which I've always said I would never have cheaters in my life) he is still my dad and would drop anything he was doing if I ever needed him.
I'm now second guessing myself and don't know what to do. I know he's going to want me at their wedding (if not taking part as one of the wedding party) but I don't want to be there to watch another person take my mother's place. It also feels like he's prioritising his new family (she has 4 children, the youngest still a minor) over us because of the way he hasn't initiated contact etc. It almost feels like we've been abandoned.
I know this was a bit of an info dump but I need an outsider's perspective because all our emotions are in turmoil right now. So WIBTAH if I cut him and his side of the family out of my life?
Tldr: father cheated on my mother throughout their 30 years of marriage, 2 weeks after their divorce is finalised he proposes to his new partner, who we don't know, and cowardly tells his children via message. WIBTAH for cutting him and his family out of my life?
View info-news.info by Terrible_Carry_9815
It’s a tough call, but setting boundaries with family is sometimes necessary for your own well-being. If the relationship is consistently negative or harmful, it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. It might help to have a conversation about your feelings before making a final decision, but ultimately, you need to do what’s best for you.
Nta- in any way. Do what is best for you. Sometimes having a hard boundary comes at the expense of relationships that you hold dear. I am going through something similar with my mom. It’s tough but (atleast to me) necessary :/
NTA. Your father has made his bed and now must lie in it. It sounds like he hasn’t given you many reasons to still be in contact or associate with him so it’s not likely that he’ll start to. Protect your peace
NTA
From your post it is you that initiates contact.
You don’t need to cut your father out, just don’t initate contact. Then it is up to him if there is a relationship, and from what you say, there probably isn’t one.