Lycanthropophobia

At dinner we were all discussing the latest werewolf attacks, which I had no interest in at all because: (A) I had not read up on it too closely and really I don’t follow the news at all generally, (B) I don’t like murder or anything grisly like that, (C) I was honestly sick of these dinners that Eleanor had been hosting recently, something she had never done except for once or twice here and there during the first seven years of our marriage, but which now she couldn’t get enough of and which I loathed entirely due to (i) my general dislike of having people in my house especially at night, (ii) my general dislike of the people Eleanor invites over to my house, and (iii) my general dislike of the pretension of dinner parties, of “hosting”, of holding court and using the good silver, all of which to me reeked of bourgeois insecurity, (D) even if I had been reading up on the grisly murders, there was no evidence they had been committed by anything preposterous like a werewolf, (E) Eleanor insisted to me earlier that if I refuted the existence of werewolves at dinner and spoiled the fun that she would be very upset with me, and this ultimatum left me with little to say (F) I was distracted by my lack of poor sleep as well as (i) the way Eleanor was gesturing excessive with her hands in a way I found over the top and inauthentic, (ii) the way her friend and colleague Nathaniel sat smugly with his hand sitting almost on Eleanor’s lap, (iii) the way Eleanor leaned in toward Nathaniel when she laughed at whatever idiotic thing he said, (iv) my lack of poor sleep the previous night, (G) I had no memory of my whereabouts the night previous, (H) I knew for a fact that I would be stuck doing the dishes, (I) I knew for a fact that Eleanor was either sleeping with Nathaniel or wished she was, (J) even if it were a werewolf, hypothetically, assuming such a creature existed, would it matter to, say, a court of law if the creature were captured? As in, would the police kill the animal on sight? Or would they apprehend it and wait for it to transform back into a man, who would then be afforded due process of law? And would there be available to this man a sort of insanity defense? Considering, after all, that the man was acting under the influence of Lycanthropia, an illness. And also: would such a judicial leniency still apply if the werewolf form killed and ate a victim who was sleeping with the wife of its man form? (K) What if he killed and ate his wife? and (L) No one here knew the names of the dead or saw their faces before they died horrible and gruesomely or tasted their flesh and bones and skin and hair. So naturally, I had no interest.