My ex and his family are denying my pregnancy after months of my ex saying he wanted to be involved.

Throw away account bc I don't want my ex to see. Sorry in advance for the long post. Looking to rant and get some advice. 🙁

My ex boyfriend (23) and I (24) started dating in October 2023. We took things kinda slow on the physical side of things but had a strong emotional connection very early on. This is probably a red flag, but I would say within a month of us officially dating, he was talking about our future children. We would slow dance in his apartment to songs about marriage. We were in love. In March 2024, I found out I was pregnant. For the first 24 hours he was very loving and supportive, but then as the news sunk in he started freaking out. He said that he was worried that his (very religious) parents would not support our relationship and that they'd place all the blame on me. He's extremely dependent on them and they are VERY involved in his life. He basically told me that the only way we could be happy and get married one day was if I got an abortion. So, regretfully, I did. Right before the abortion, my ex promised he was going to care for and love me through it all. Of course, this was not true. As the weeks following the abortion went on, he completely shut down. He was having what I would describe as a religious crisis. I was completely beside myself after the abortion experience and he knew this, but it's almost like he had no emotional "space" to care for me. I was the one caring for him, reassuring him that God still loved him, blah blah blah. Whenever he did let me cry or share my emotions, he would somehow make it about him and say how guilty he felt because all the emotions I was having were his fault because he pushed for the abortion. During this time, I felt completely detached from reality. I thought I was taking my birth control correctly at this time, but the days all blended together and I could hardly remember what I ate for breakfast. We had sex again a couple times a few weeks after the abortion. I stupidly told him I was taking my BC and I wasn't worried, but he pulled out anyway just to be safe because he was worried I maybe wasn't keeping track, which he was right to assume! But what do you know, I was pregnant again in late May. I felt horrible and was terrified to tell him, so I kept it a secret for a couple weeks. June comes around and things were still kinda rocky. He was clearly depressed, and ended up breaking up with me over text the morning after we spent the whole day together. I called him and reluctantly broke the news about the pregnancy. Like I said, I felt absolutely terrible that I had put him in this position with everything he was going through. I considered what it would be like if I just never told him ever, but I felt like that was impossible to keep from him and would only make things worse. I was deeply in love with this man and just wanted him to be happy. I very stupidly thought it was a good idea to tell him I was purposefully not taking my birth control after the abortion. In my mind, I felt so so so horrible for him that I just wanted to give him an out because I thought he wouldn't step away from all this if he didn't have a reason to hate me. After a lot of back and forth and mean things said from both sides over the next few days, and realizing he wasn't leaving regardless of whether it was purposeful or not, I went back on this claim. I was completely honest and explained everything above. As a note, I understand that was totally insane on my part. Obviously, he didn't believe me and has continued to pull the "you did this on purpose" card whenever he's upset about anything and has recently begun saying I told him that I knew I was ovulating when we had sex (No, I didn't say this). I made it clear time and time again that if he wanted to leave all of this behind, he should. But he continued to insist that he couldn't do that. So, after the first couple weeks of a lot of back and forth, saying the same things over and over and me insisting that I would not be having another abortion, we minimized communication for the rest of the summer. We were on summer break from grad school so we didn't see each other much, and we both decided we needed to just process everything separately and come back together again once school started. 

Well, school started a couple weeks ago and I am 20 weeks today. I went to his apartment the day before classes started and hung out for a bit. It was almost… pleasant. We were laughing and smiling and it felt like we were best friends again. He was calling the baby by the name we had previously talked about and saying he was excited. No back and forth, no hurtful comments, no crying. He said he was going to be part of this child's life, no question. This only confirmed what he said from the beginning, and I felt secure in knowing I wouldn't have to do it alone. At this point, I've accepted our break up, but I stupidly asked if there was any hope for us. He completely surprised me when he said he envisioned as a family among other sweet things. We decided we would tell people at school that we were on a "break," because even though we had technically broken up we weren't sure what the future held and we obviously have feelings for one another. Plus, once people at school found out about the baby, we didn't want them to think we were completely broken up (stupid, I know, but it felt less embarrassing). Luckily, I'm not showing enough in my usual attire for anyone to ask questions yet. 

if you don't already think this is crazy enough, hold on to your seats. His birthday was last Sunday and on the friday before he started getting sick and was basically acting like he was on his death bed (typical man). He was already planning to go back home to see his family on Sunday but ended up going on Friday because his mother, who worships the ground he walks on, wanted to take care of him. I texted him on his birthday but remained pretty distant the rest of the weekend. I don't have a real instagram account, but I have a "fake" account that I only follow a couple celebs on. He's public on instagram, so on his birthday, I went and looked at his account thinking maybe he or his sister posted a cute photo for his bday. Instead, I saw a reposted story from a random girl's account of a picture of them two with a heart drawn. I texted him and asked him about it, and he said she was just a girl he was talking to, it wasn't serious, she was just a distraction from our situation, and he wasn't even going to tell me about her bc he planned to cut it off. He also told me he muted everyone from our school so no one saw….? Embarrassingly, I had a habit of checking his followers on tiktok kinda frequently over the summer because he only has a handful. I noticed this girl follow him in mid-July, so I knew she hadn't been around for too long. Over the next few days, though, after continuing to pry in person and over text, nothing was adding up. It was clear the relationship was more serious than he led on, although I'm not really sure how serious it could be considering the timeline of when we kinda went our separate ways over the summer and when she followed him on social media. But that's when I started to get super upset. I was already hurt that he was talking to another girl in any romantic capacity considering we both were very set on needing time to just process the pregnancy and be alone, but the fact that he was continuing to downplay it pretty much sent me over the edge. I basically told him he needed to cut it off immediately if he ever expected us to be together in the future or if he wanted to continue being involved in the pregnancy for the time being. He refused. He didn't like me telling him what to do and couldn't understand why he couldn't just do it at his own pace. He supposedly ending up telling this girl about the pregnancy and for some reason, she apparently told him she wanted to stand by him after less than a month of being together and him lying to her the entire time? He wouldn't show me any of the texts between them, so who knows what he actually told her about the situation. Over the past several days, this has caused A LOT of turmoil for me and our relationship. I felt like regardless of our own romantic relationship status, neither of us had any business starting a brand new relationship in the middle of my pregnancy when we were trying to keep things positive between us and focusing on becoming parents. 

Keep in mind, this girl was the first person he told about the pregnancy. Late last week, he decided to he was going to tell his parents this weekend because he needed "guidance." I supported that, and I genuinely thought they would help us work through this and come together for our child. Note, I don't have a great relationship with my own family and am not sure when I will involve them. He told me he wasn't planning to tell his parents about the birth control situation because he didn't want them to hate me, which obviously I appreciated. The day before, I went over to his apartment to show him photos from my most recent ultrasound. He wanted me to send them over text, along with the results of the NIPT, but something about him having possession of my medical records made me wary, so I opted to just show him in person. Nothing about what he was saying made me think he was planning to do anything crazy, but I soon realized that my gut feeling was warranted. 

Earlier in the day before he told his parents, he was telling me he wanted to work out a way for our relationship to stay positive so he could be part of our baby's life.  However, he ended up texting me the next morning saying he sat down with his parents and they were incredibly supportive of him and told him he didn't need to be involved with the baby, so he was walking away. He claims he and his family want nothing to do with the baby or me. He was refusing to call the baby by the name we picked out, and kept calling him "it." Since I've spent a considerable amount of time with his parents, I reached out to his mom because of how unbelievable it sounded. She proceeded to tell me I "took advantage" of her son and stopped taking my birth control on purpose (so much for not talking about the birth control) and also repeatedly referred to the baby as "it." Given that she's so religious, I can't imagine she's the kind of person who wouldn't normally call a fetus by she/he when the gender is known. Very quickly, I got the vibe that she was not aware of the prior pregnancy/abortion which is why I was not taking my birth control in the first place. Given that I was being completely ignored from my ex by that point, I told her myself. She shockingly didn't care much about the abortion and was more mad at me that I continued sleeping with her son afterwards, insisting I still took advantage of him (reminder that she worships him). I explained that the abortion and the weeks after were very difficult for me and I was basically traumatized and I never would have purposefully tried to get pregnant knowing how his family feels about it outside of marriage. But all she kept talking about was how my relationship with her son was over a long time ago, he only stayed with me after the abortion because he felt so bad for me (?), and I'm just mad he's talking to another girl. Like, yes, I'm upset about the new girl, obviously. But what no one seems to get is that im upset because 1. my ex told me he wanted us to be a family and 2. it just simply doesn't seem like the right time. Yeah, maybe my ex is a big liar for saying he wanted to be with me, but I thought she'd have some sympathy for me knowing that he still said it. Throughout this whole conversation, I was extremely civil and respectful, saying I would like them to have a relationship with their grandchild regardless of what happens between me and my ex, but she was just not at all having it. I felt like she was treating me like I was her son's one night stand who he just couldn't get away from and I'm obviously devastated by my ex's lack of concern or communication since his initial message. I can't imagine he doesn't know what she is saying to me. All he's said to me since saying he was walking away is that he wants a paternity test for child support reasons and he will no longer be responding to me, as if I would have ever considered sleeping with someone else when we were together, especially right after an abortion. I knew his parents wouldn't be happy by any means, but I guess I thought my ex was being dramatic when he had previously said they would try to place all the blame on me. I think he panicked before telling them and instead of owning up to everything, he painted me as this manipulative person who is forcing him to have a child in order to take the heat off of himself. Regardless, I never thought they would just completely deny the child. I had a great relationship with his parents when my ex and I were together, so it all just seems completely absurd. I feel like my ex and his parents are acting like this is some devastating teen pregnancy. 

TLDR; I found out I was pregnant with my ex following a prior abortion and subsequent break-up. He was  eventually excited to be part of the child's life + reconsidering our relationship until I found out about his secret girlfriend and kinda freaked out on him. He told his parents about the pregnancy and made me out to be a horrible person. Now my ex and his family hate my guts and want nothing to do with me or the baby. 

My question is, am I a total idiot for not seeing this coming? What am I supposed to do?