Eaunt told my Nmom i’m coming home and she’s blowing up my phone

Im going to my ndad's funeral this week for closure, and I know I'll feel uneasy with myself if I don't go. I find that there’s balance if I go. I didn’t tell my nmom, but my aunt figured it out once I reached out to her. I didn't say anything to her directly, but it was obvious since i told her taking a week off from school and coming back home. When my ndad passed away, my nmom called to tell me the news, but then she started texting me nonstop about her own wishes and plans. It was all about her, as usual. It annoys me so much to hear and see her constantly making everything about herself, especially when I was trying to grieve, and didn’t want to even speak to my Nmom. Her selfishness just makes me so angry. That entire week she kept sending me texts saying she“misses” my ndad (she misses the supply and enabling of her abuse and torment towards me) other stupid messages. I didn’t reply to any of them. She kept sending me these video montages of my abusive ndad and I ignored them. I hate that she’s doing all this. I just want to go to the funeral, see him and leave. She’s making it into a whole thing, my ndad wasn’t a big part in my life, he wasn’t an important figure to me. She knows that but she has defended and enabled his shit parenting once before. He never showed up for me. It’s complicated.

I decided to reach out to my eaunt because my nmom told me to. If I didn’t reach out she would find out and blow up my number. I did it to limit that and just scrap away the potential BS I would deal with. But this time, I used my own phone number, so I could control who I wanted to talk to. If I didn’t want to I could ultimately say it’s my phone and number so I have the choice. My nmom always forced me to have relationships with her and my nfamily members. Everyone is so screwed. Ugh. I chose to talk to my aunt, and she actually involved me in the funeral arrangements, even though I’m far away. It’s a strange situation because I don’t like any of my nfamily, but I do find some balance with my aunt. She kept me updated, unlike my nmom, which didn’t surprise me. My aunt even offered to pick me up, and I said yes because she’s much more bearable than my nmom. I didn’t want to spend over 200 for a ride soooo…

I didn’t even bother to let my nmom know about me going to the funeral let alone the fact I’m coming home because I didn’t think it was necessary or anything serious. My plan was just to go, leave, and then come back to school—nothing crazy. I planned the whole thing out but didn’t include my nmom because she would just trash everything. My eaunt told my Nmom about everything and she started blowing up my phone. She was angry that I wasn’t telling her anything but I feel like it’s not that big of a deal. Like why does she care so fuckinf much. My God. My nmom is truly unbearable. Instead of getting mad she should be glad i’m coming back up and ZIP IT. I mean my ndad just died and she’s really going to out energy into scrutinizing me?? Are you fucking kidding me? I could die today and she’s pulling that trick? Are you serious???? I got my own phone number now so I have every ounce of a right to ignore her explosive message. It honeldty fuckinf sucks cuz this is the mother i’m coming back home to. This is so overwhelming. I was excited to go back home but now I’m regretting it which wasn’t a surprise. I have a friend and my pet back at home waiting direly to spend time with me.