BREAKING NEWS:
Should I Tell Them I’m Going No Contact or Just Change My Number?
Are you tired of being bombarded with unwanted messages and calls from an ex or a toxic person in your life? You’re not alone! As we navigate the complexities of modern relationships, it’s essential to know the best course of action when dealing with a toxic or abusive individual.
In this breaking news update, we’ll explore the pros and cons of telling them you’re going no contact versus simply changing your number. We’ll also provide expert advice and real-life scenarios to help you make an informed decision.
No Contact vs. Changing Your Number: What’s the Best Approach?
Telling Them You’re Going No Contact:
- Pros:
- Sets clear boundaries and expectations
- Allows you to maintain a sense of control and power
- Can be a powerful statement, making it clear you’re not interested in rekindling the relationship
- Cons:
- Can lead to confrontation and potentially escalate the situation
- May not be feasible if the other person is unwilling to respect your boundaries
- Can be emotionally draining and stressful
Changing Your Number:
- Pros:
- Can be a quick and easy way to disconnect from the toxic individual
- May avoid confrontation and potential conflict
- Can be a relief, allowing you to start fresh and focus on your own well-being
- Cons:
- May not address the underlying issues or dynamics of the relationship
- Can be seen as a cop-out or avoidance tactic
- May not provide a sense of closure or resolution
Expert Advice:
Dr. [Name], a licensed therapist and relationship expert, weighs in on the best approach:
"When dealing with a toxic or abusive individual, it’s essential to prioritize your own safety and well-being. Changing your number can be a viable option, especially if you’re not ready to have a direct conversation with the other person. However, it’s crucial to remember that avoidance is not a long-term solution. To truly move forward, you must address the underlying issues and dynamics of the relationship."
Real-Life Scenarios:
Sarah, a 28-year-old marketing professional, recently went no contact with her ex after a series of toxic and abusive messages:
"I was exhausted from the constant fighting and manipulation. I realized that by going no contact, I was taking back control and setting clear boundaries. It wasn’t easy, but it was the best decision I ever made. I’m finally starting to heal and move on."
On the other hand, John, a 32-year-old software engineer, changed his number after a series of harassing calls from an ex:
"I was at my wit’s end and didn’t know what else to do. Changing my number was a quick fix, and it gave me some much-needed peace and quiet. However, I know I can’t avoid the issue forever. I need to find a way to address the underlying issues and move forward in a healthy way."
Conclusion:
When dealing with a toxic or abusive individual, it’s essential to prioritize your own safety and well-being. Both going no contact and changing your number can be viable options, but it’s crucial to remember that avoidance is not a long-term solution. By setting clear boundaries, addressing the underlying issues, and prioritizing your own well-being, you can take back control and start to heal.
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To start from the beginning, (this is long) my husband and I stayed with my grandma when I was pregnant with my first child to save money, I was so stressed everyday that pregnancy because of all the petty drama my mom and grandma caused, I was fussing so much and screaming I ended up having a still born (pre-eclampsia) my mom then came to the hospital crying and my grandma called saying sorry she wish I had a better doctor they never apologized for the way they treated me that pregnancy just came back around acting as if nothing happened, and like they weren’t the reason for a lot of stuff that pregnancy they also kicked me out that pregnancy too and my mom with her extra hugs and “I love you’s” and when I would bring up my still born my grandma says well let’s focus on these babies they are alive now
and my mom doesn’t like my husband for whatever reason she can never name just says he isn’t who she saw me with. Fast foward after I gave birth to my second son we had to stay with my grandma one last time (which I hated, it was last resort) until our new house that we were buying was ready In the hospital I was crying because I was so tired I felt like a zombie and my mom told the nurses oh she’s dramatic sorry, and then 2 days after I was released I just wanted to come home and lay down because I just gave birth and my mom started a argument with my husband about where to put the blow up mattress and my husband said I just want her to lay down and I ran up stairs crying and I heard my mom smack her teeth then my husband came upstairs to check on me and then she came to check on me behind my husband I guess to not look like bad person.
about a month later she came to my grandmas saying I need to clean up I don’t know what my grandma told her but I had just talked to her and all she said was I needed to mop, Its only been a month since I gave birth and I told her it’s not messy and I just talked to grandma and my grandma just went to take the trash out which my husband usually does and acted like she was so tired of taking out the trash. Which led to my mom saying we have to leave her moms house my baby is now still 1 month at the time, his circumcision was the next so we asked can we at least have one day to move and get him to his appointment, she said no and I remember I told her we have no where to go and she was like well idk your mom just gone drop you off in New Orleans. I told her we don’t have any where to go and she said well oh well! Y’all need to leave!!!
In between this time they were all texting and one day I told my uncle who stays with my grandma to not leave our ice cream out of the fridge which they did a lot and saw messages of him saying she says that like she used it with her hard earned money and my mom replied with crying laughing emojis and said tell her y’all lights need to paid too. And my grandma would be texting saying should I kick them out next week? And one time I went upstairs to see if I had mail and asked my grandma are those jolly ranchers and she said yeah I said okay then I heard my uncle say what she said and she said she asked was this candy and he said why she asked for some? And she said I don’t know she didn’t ask and I didn’t offer and he laughed. She also use to text me that I had to stay up in the daytime and I can’t sleep all day knowing I’m tired from dealing with a baby over night. One time we needed diapers until my husband got paid 2 days later he was going to pay them back and I asked my grandma to ask my mom for it and my mom didn’t reply and talked about me on the phone with my grandma and then my grandma woke me out of my sleep and said “don’t you let that baby be wet all night!!!”
One time I let my mom babysit after trying again and falling for her I just want to spend time with my grandson and realized she never apologized I ended up apologizing as I do with her my whole life and they just come around buying him gifts like nothing happened and wanting to baby sit etc. but she told me when she babysat him I was texting so much she was going to stop replying to me because I was doing to much. I would text asking is he sleeping? Is he okay? And way more stuff has happened with her like her gossiping about me to everybody saying im dramatic and just want attention that’s why I’m lashing out and that I’m a liar all to keep her “good mom I don’t know why my kids act like this with me image” But anyways Now they found out I am pregnant again and now my mom is trying to reach out and act nice and like none of that has happened and my grandma texted me about how happy she is when she heard the news and can’t wait to see the baby and about God and forgiveness and forgiving my mom and that she reads the Bible everyday and wants to get my son some outfits and clothes and the new baby and was texting me about Nick names and asking for pictures and saying how my mom can’t wait to see her boy because last time
she seen him he was crawling same story with them both im so tired of this cycle, it’s so disrespectful and exhausting should I let them know I’m cutting them off or just change my number?
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The only time I’d argue in favour of letting people know you’re cutting them off is when you’re not at the point yet and are setting it as a boundary, e.g. “stop this or you’re cut off”. But if you’ve already decided to go NC, just end it without giving them anything to grab on to and argue some more.
Quietly block them on any social media and change your number. They are ahs who are creating drama at the expense of your wellbeing and your baby’s wellbeing.
You owe them nothing.
Keep the toxic AHs away from your children and break the cycle of abuse for them. Be the parent you deserved for your babies.