I body slammed my sister after my dad died

I know the title sounds bad, & I'm not looking to justify what I did. I just wanted to just vent for a moment. So earlier this year, I (f29) lost my father unexpectedly. It was literally him being here one day & gone the next. The last conversation I had with him was about extra dinner I made & wanting him to have a home cooked meal. The next week, I'm getting a call from my brother telling me our dad is gone. Honestly the worst day of my life. After I got the news, I called my best friend, let's call him Tee (m32) & then my sister, let's call her Sadie (f38). Just for context, Sadie & I have the same mother but different fathers. After I told them the news, they both rushed to my house bc they didn't want me to be alone. Tee was the best support I could've had in that situation. He made sure I ate, let me vent & cry, & let me reminisce about my dad. Sadie on the other hand wasn't as supportive as I would've expected. Sadie would be very dismissive whenever I would talk about my dad (saying things like "OMG THIS IS TOO SAD TO HEAR I NEED A SHOT! YOU KNOW IM A LEO, I CANT HEAR THIS), overtalk me, & would try to one up everything Tee did. I started feeling myself getting really annoyed so I tried to ignore her bc i couldn't tell if she was actually being annoying or if my grief lowered my patience for her. The second day started off better. Tee cooked for me & I finally managed to get some rest. When I woke up, Sadie let me know Tee had to go home for work but would be back in about a day so that way she can go home & I wouldn't have to be alone. By this time, a few friends came by for drinks & food. My little brother (14m my dads son) came over too. While I'm enjoying everyone's company, I didn't realize Sadie was getting really drunk & started acting a little wild (flirting with my friends boyfriends & telling everyone I don't claim her as my sister after introducing her as my sister). I told her she needed to calm down. She then wanted to have a private talk with my little brother & I wasn't going for that! She said things like fuck his mom & I told her don't say things like that to him especially since we just lost our dad. She started crying saying how much she missed my dad & I told her I get that bc I miss him too but she can't say stuff like that to my brother. After that she started kicking things around my house & I obviously told her to stop & to relax bc she was embarrassing me. Idk why but that made her confrontational so she got in my face (literally forehead to forehead). For context, my sister & I gotten into really bad fights when I was younger to the point where she threw things at me like box fans & dresser drawers so in that moment, I felt myself getting defensive. I told her to get off me & I wasn't playing. She told me to make her get off me. So I asked my friend that was sitting next to me to move so she wouldn't get hurt & I body slammed Sadie on the bed. I thought we'd be done but she kept provoking me so I body slammed her again but this time a lot harder & on the floor. I felt myself ready to hit her but I remembered I was still in grief & didn't want to take my anger of losing my dad out on her. So I just asked her if we were done now. Once she got up, she said I did too much & that she was more sad than me since she knew my dad before I was born. I told her to leave my house before I did something I regretted. I never wanted to hurt her more in my life but I knew that wasn't how my dad would've wanted me to handle things. I actually feel like he'd be disappointed in me for slamming her how I did. I battle between feeling bad & Ifeeling it was deserved. Sorry for the long post. This is something I'd usually talk to my dad about but I can't really do that anymore so I just wanted to get this out somewhere