[UPDATE] What are the odds it’s not endo at all? Spoiler Alert: it was.

Update to my previous post, where I was freaking out about my upcoming lap.

It was endo. It was endo, and I am the absolute happiest girl in the world. They found it everywhere (I wasn't told what stage it was, but in my notes it was described as "diffuse", and it took my surgeon almost two hours to fully remove the lesions and adhesions). As soon as I heard the news, I cried tears of joy and relief. Maybe it's a little bizarre to be overwhelmed with happiness to hear that you have an incurable chronic illness, but I am over the moon right now. Finally, finally, finally, after twelve years of pure goddamn misery, countless missed days of school and work and life, I have an answer as to why I've been in so much pain for so long (and hopefully, a reason to believe I will not suffer that way again). I was terrified to the point of tears going in—more scared of them finding nothing than scared of the procedure itself, truthfully—but my team of doctors and nurses were absolute angels, and I am so grateful for the care they provided me.

I also want to thank everyone on this sub who left kind comments offering comfort and encouraging me to forge on with the surgery. "Cold feet" doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling even just this morning. But even though I'm gassy, bloated, sore, and waddling around the house like a little old woman, I can honestly say this is one of the best decisions I've ever made for my health. I'm a private person by nature, so no one besides my immediate family and some very close friends knows, but frankly, I want to shout from the rooftops: "It was endo! It was fucking endo!"