My ghoster from last month came back

I just have another typical "my ghoster came back" story to share for entertainment purposes.

Last month I made contact with this beautiful woman online. We live in diff countries, but she is coming to the US soon (Nov). Her texts are slow, sometimes takes days, but they are usually of decent quality as in, she shows interest and cares. She let me know pretty much immediately that she doesn't text frequently, but that if I just leave a message, she'll get back to it eventually. She strings me along by saying "hey let's chat on the phone if you're free." We do talk twice, and they're decent conversations, we're just getting to know each other. After the second one, she texts me the usual, "hey, let's talk again sometime ok?" Stringing me along… Well from then on, she never responded to my texts from then on. I sent 3 in the first week and then 1 more a week and a half later. This was when I got ghosted and started redditing lmao.

During the downtime, I am constantly reading and rereading into what I wrote/said during our convos to find out where I may have gone wrong. I can't help but wonder if that disappointed expression she had when I said, "No, I wouldn't" when she asked if I'd ever travel to her country for dating purposes. I just told her the truth, I really wouldn't unless I saw some sort of commitment already, I would never visit a foreign country to passport bro or try to find women for marriage, I'd rather just be a tourist and go experience the area, but I can't help but feel like she was saddened by my answer that I would be too selfish to put in the effort to visit her. I guess we didn't get deep enough for me to admit that I would if we were more committed/serious. All the while, I am redditing this sub reading everyone else's sob stories and then I see a thread that I brush off titled "they always come back". I mean sometimes they do, but this is just logically false, because there are those who never come back. Obviously this means, there is a good chance they will come back or that there is a non-insignificant chance they will come back.

It's been about 4.5 weeks since getting ghosted and she texts me back, lol, the ghoster did come back indeed. by now I've already grieved – you know like denial, depression, acceptance. not really anger, I never met her, and there's nothing to be angry about, just disappointed. So she has come back to say: "Hey haven't talked in awhile, I've been having really bad anxiety. But I'll definitely let you know immediately if I have good news to share. Even though I got the position, I'm still working on the visa and sometimes I have doubts that I won't make it over, but if I do, then I'll surely meet up and we can get to know each other." There we go again with the promises, but what do you know, even after ghosting for so long, she did keep her first promise that she'll eventually get back to me lmao!!! But now that she has gotten back to me, it has proven a few things such as… it's not the case that she is not interested in me, it's not the case that I was boring, and it's not the case that it was something I said (or was it?).

We end up having a short text exchange and we even talk on the phone for 20 min until it cuts off due to her losing signal (subway). But when she gets back 3 hrs later, she suggests we talk another time (as usual right?). I text her the next day and surprisingly we have our most lively text exchange to date, and it's because I made the passing suggestion – "hey if you can't make it, I guess that means I'll have to go over there to find you." And then she goes off on the things we could do together, almost as if she's excited or something. So… it was what I said after all??? That she was disappointed in my answer and so she put me on low priority as she talked to other men and ghosted me in the process. Maybe~

I'm gonna give her another chance, she's someone I had described as my dream girl. I'm sure she was talking to other men, and that's ok, because what are the chances that any one person is any other person's first choice only? There are more men than just me in this world, and I totally understand if she wants to at least see what's out there, we haven't even met yet, so I'm cool with that. So I'm going to take this as her giving me an honest chance, and if it doesn't work out (ghosts me again?), then this time for real I'll know that she isn't interested in me. We're "scheduled" to talk tonight or tmr morning so … wish me luck??