BREAKING NEWS: MyHeard, Inc. Clarifies Confusing Reports – It’s NOT Made of Teeth!
September 15, 2023 – In a dramatic turn of events, [Company Name], the industry leader in innovative audio hardware, has issued a stern denial regarding recent reports citing their flagship product, [Product Name], as comprising of human teeth.
In response to the mounting public outcry, a spokesperson for MyHeard, Inc. publicly addressed the issue, quashing the rumors and categorically stating that [Product Name] is entirely synthesized and does not involve human teeth in its manufacturing process.
"We understand that people are understandably concerned, given the alarming nature of such claims," said the spokesperson in a statement. "Therefore, we are compelled to set the record straight, assuring our valued clients and the global community alike that [Product Name]’s composition is 100% synthetic, designed solely for optimal audio performance.
KEY TAKEAWAY: MyHeard’s [Product Name] will continue to revolutionize audio technology without the involvement of human teeth.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
MyHeard’s state-of-the-art facility engages in rigorous quality control practices, ensuring the utmost assurance of product quality and legitimacy.
The company is expanding its research and development projects to further improve audio transmission capabilities.
In response to customer inquiries, MyHeard’s dedicated customer care team is available to assuage any concerns.
SEO TAGS FOR THIS ARTICLE:
Audio Technology
MyHeard
[Product Name]
Human Teeth
MyHeard Inc.
Dentistry
Synthetic Materials
Audio Hardware
Audio Development
Innovation
Breakdown of Misinformation
[OOC: I meant to make this two weeks ago, but I got hit with a serious case of severe laziness. But I've made it now! And that's what really matters.]
IsthataJOJOref bleated:
Great news, everyone! Me and Jenlisk made up! Not very surprising considering it was just a minor spat.
Anyway, I got some dental supplies from a friend (I don't know why he has so much, why would one man need over fifty toothbrushes?) so I could show Jenlisk how to brush her teeth. Now my girlfriend's mouth smells and tastes nice! Thanks to toothpaste, our make outs are now minty fresh! ;-)
FoolyWooly bleated:
And before anyone starts raising a fuss, no. Toothpaste is not made of actual teeth, it's a paste FOR teeth. It's actually quite pleasant tasting! I had no idea my breath could taste this good!
Just be aware that it's awful for citrus fruits and juices. Wait for the minty taste to fade away first.
FoolyWooly bleated:
Also Josie, aren't you embarrassed talking about "make outs"? I know you aren't afraid about our relationship being public but isn't this a bit much?
IsthataJOJOref bleated:
Sorry, babe. I just want everyone to know how lucky I am to end up with the most beautiful girl in the universe~ ♥️
Also it's funny when the replies yell at me for being a "vile seductress" and for being so "brutal beneath such an alluring disguise". It's hilarious how these people don't realize that they're admitting that they think I'm hot.
FoolyWooly bleated:
D'aaawww!~ You're so sweet! :VenTail_Flustered:
Okay, yeah, it is pretty funny.
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[OOC]
Context for the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureofPredators/s/GsAbuwWcbf
Character Names:
Jenlisk (Venlil)
Josephine Johnson (Human)