Should I do something with that?

My supervisor told me when I was 19, that I can now put my hands in my underwear and masturbate, to close my eyes during the conversation, afterwards she told me what she sometimes does with her boyfriend during sex.
Then she said keep going, keep going.
Yes, I am proud of you.
And Ohhh I love it when students come so quickly because of me.
She then asked are you turned on? I just said yes. And do I feel sexually attracted to anyone here?
She said do you want some of my boyfriend's panties and a pair of jogging pants, because you can't go to class with such wet and dirty ones.
I said no, and she laughed.
Towards the end I opened my pants

,and I started to push my stomach and hit it and bite my hands. 

She said, it's okay, it's okay to be different.
I also said that she triggered me to my childhood, and that I feel threatened in her presence.
And that I feel very anxious and disintegrated.
She wanted to take care of my hands because otherwise the classmates would bully me, I wanted to go to the toilet, she went with me, and I did poop and afterwards I threw up. She asked me what I did, and whether I do these things consciously or unconsciously?
After that I was allowed to go to class.
Afterwards there was a case during the online classes at school, I did this impulsively and actually under the influence, and I mean it I was not 100% sure that they would see this, I sometimes suspected this,
bullied by all the students for my clothes, smell and everything. Eventually towards the end I asked 1 girl why she was doing this, she attacked me afterwards, I didn't do anything then. Because I was stopped by a boy. I couldn't hold on any longer towards the end, and I made an attempt. After I came back they kept doing this, I started cutting, I sent her, and she wanted to tell my mom, but I was scared, because my dad often threatened me that he would have me locked up in the psychiatric hospital of his country of origin forever, and I also just have strict parents. I cursed her, and called my ex girlfriend, she told me something very briefly that made me know that the woman had spoken to her without my permission, she certainly didn't tell me everything about their conversations! This is a girl who actually got all the info from me
from a night supervisor once in a therapeutic center, where I ended up via youth care, she even knew more about me than I did myself (I really have a dissociative disorder and repressed traumas!) she knew all the conversations from youth care and about something from my previous high school, a teacher watched my screen when we had to write stories for class, and apparently told everything, these were things that I never wanted them to see actually. As a child I was convinced that only the police could do this. I do remember that he often told the class things that concerned me or my family, everyone saw that I was ashamed, as well as him, but I think I just always denied everything in my head or something. I wanted her advice on how I could say sorry to that teacher, I became sad, because that girl already
often also trigger me with information that she had about me and she told this to many people also there in the center, I always just stayed calm, but was so sad, because I was really in love with her, she hurt me very much, and I just let her do me. The counselor sent me after I excused myself to come an hour earlier.
She wanted to call, and I walked to my classmates, she said that I have to come with her now or she will call for help I was shocked and said briefly without everything, what she told me during the counseling. She started to cry, and said that she is going to be admitted. I said okay okay sorry ma'am I will come with you. Then she told me that she is not my whipping boy, and that she is going to call now. I started to shake, she moved closer to her desk, and I pushed it against her and threw a plant and she walked away and I stayed there until the director came. I had to unsubscribe and had another conversation with them, the director said I have never had such an aggressive student and I don't know if you do everything for pleasure or fun, but if what the counselor says is true, I would go to prison. When I asked what did she say? He didn't answer, and said YOUR psychologist and counselor from your old institution confirm this and this would be on the news.
I think they did this on purpose because I am vulnerable.
I doubt my own sanity and sometimes get images and voices because of what they said. I have never spoken seriously about this with anyone.
And I think I don't really find this worth it anymore, because now I'm not sure anymore, like in the beginning if I did more than during those online classes and if I am indeed not as they say the psychopath and manipulator, as well as mentally disturbed and other terrible statements that they have said about me such as that I deserve to be locked up forever. They already knew that I was struggling with serious mental problems. I wonder if this is okay, and if I am the only one who is really wrong here, because of this incident during the online classes, which I do regret, I had not masturbated for a year then and during her stories I did indeed get aroused I admit, and I feel even dirtier because of this.
I am still suicidal, I can no longer function, I feel misunderstood. I have no clarity in my head.
I have completely started to think that I am exactly what they have all called me, and I am sad, because I no longer saw any point in telling the story, how I experienced it, because I now completely believe that other people's opinions are true, because they have a higher position than myself?