BREAKING NEWS
Seems You Actually Do Have Lyin’ Eyes: A Certain Candidate Hopes You Won’t Notice
In a shocking turn of events, a prominent political candidate has been caught with their pants down, figuratively speaking. It appears that their trusty "lyin’ eyes" have been exposed, and they’re desperately trying to cover it up.
As the saying goes, "the eyes are the windows to the soul." And in this case, those windows are foggy, to say the least. The candidate, who wishes to remain anonymous (for now), has been accused of dishonesty and deception on multiple occasions.
Eyewitnesses claim that the candidate’s eyes would dart back and forth, avoiding direct eye contact whenever they were questioned about their questionable behavior. It’s as if they were trying to send a message: "I’m not lying, I’m just… creative with the truth."
But, as the old adage goes, "you can’t fool all of the people all of the time." The truth is slowly starting to unravel, and the candidate’s reputation is taking a beating.
So, what does this mean for the candidate’s chances of winning the election? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure: the people will be watching closely to see if they can maintain their honesty (or lack thereof).
STAY TUNED FOR UPDATES AS THIS STORY CONTINUES TO UNFOLD
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Is there no end to Republican duplicity?
It seemed as though they had reached the height of deception and deceitfulness with their absurd lies about immigrants eating cats, dogs, and probably butterflies, bald eagles, and Andean Condors. But no, you can always count on them to plumb the depths of hoodwinking and chicanery.
Now, Republican congressional candidate, Derrick Anderson, having seen the ineffectiveness of printed lies, has come up with a creative new scheme; photographic lies. Recently becoming aware of American women becoming outraged by the Christo-fascist males denying them autocracy over their own bodies, he came up with a new idea; make believe he's married.
In actuality he's a single man who lives with his dog. (Fear not, the dog is safely sequestered from his Mexican gardener and the Chinese woman who does his nails.)
So, Candidate Anderson arranged to 'borrow' a wife and children from a close friend to give the impression he's a family man and no threat to American womanhood.
Read this if you want a laugh — boldface mine.
"A Republican congressional candidate posed for a photo with a woman and three young girls in an image that could be mistaken for a family holiday card. But the picture — posted on the National Republican Campaign Committee website to promote Derrick Anderson’s campaign, and included in a video on his campaign’s YouTube account — is not a family photo at all.
They are the wife and children of Anderson’s friend.
Anderson, a former Army Green Beret running for a seat in Congress in Virginia, also was filmed with the woman and her children in footage that was posted to his YouTube channel**. The candidate does not have children of his own and is not married.** He has separately announced that he is engaged and has filmed himself with his fiancée. He lives with his dog, according to his campaign website.
The source of the images surfaced in a story from The New York Times titled “G.O.P. Candidates, Looking to Soften Their Image, Turn to Their Wives” that outlined how Republican campaigns are relying on their families as the fight for abortion rights and reproductive healthcare access takes center stage in 2024 elections. The story noted how male anti-abortion Republicans who are “struggling to appeal to female voters concerned about their records on reproductive rights” are now “unleashing their spouses to make the pitch on their behalf.”
Another image of Anderson with a young girl appears in a campaign mailer.
Anderson celebrated the Supreme Court’s decision to strike down Roe v Wade in 2022, writing on Twitter at the time that the justice “finally got it right” and “overturned a 50 year decision of federalizing abortions.” That widely unpopular decision from the court’s conservative majority struck down a constitutional right to abortion care that was affirmed by the court in 1973, and has left it up to individual states to legislate abortion care, including deciding whether to criminalize access. Asked repeatedly whether he “supports a woman’s right to choose”, during a candidate forum this month, Anderson said that “each state is going to have to make a determination that best fits their states.”
Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s running mate JD Vance has faced ongoing scrutiny for misogynist remarks about “childless cat ladies” wielding political power, while his GOP allies have criticized Democratic rival Kamala Harris for her relationship with her stepchildren.
The Independent has requested comment from Anderson’s campaign.
A still from a campaign video for Virginia congressional candidate Derrick Anderson shows him posing for a photograph and speaking at a kitchen table with a woman and three young girls who are the wife and children of a family friend. (Derrick Anderson for VA)
A still from a campaign video for Virginia congressional candidate Derrick Anderson shows him posing for a photograph and speaking at a kitchen table with a woman and three young girls who are the wife and children of a family friend. (Derrick Anderson for VA)
The footage of the woman and three girls posing with Anderson has not been used in any campaign ad other than a video on Anderson’s official YouTube page and in a website paid for by the National Republican Campaign Committee.
A spokesman for Anderson criticized The Times for focusing on the footage, saying that his Democratic opponent Eugene Vindman and “every other candidate in America are in similar pictures and video with supporters of all kinds.”
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