AITH for wanting to remove my “best-friend” from my wedding party?

Edit: yes I meant to put AITAH. Oops.

This is a long one, so please bear with me. I (F24) originally asked my “best-friend” (F23) to be my maid of honor in April of this year, for my wedding that is in February 2025. Before I asked her, I had doubts that she would be able to devote her time and energy to holding such a role due to what was going on with her life at the time. She was in an abusive relationship with a guy that me, her mom, and multiple of her other friends had been worried about her with this guy. She did not see the “bad news” that this guy was and kept going back to him over and over again to the point where she ended up homeless with him living in his car and then hotel hopping, but she was paying for the majority of it the whole time, if not all of it. Before asking her to be my maid of honor, I went to lunch with her and her mom to talk about the possibility of her being my Maid of Honor and her mom (F45ish) also being a bridesmaid. I explained to her my concerns to her around asking her due to the time/money/energy commitment and her mom also chimed in to assist me in stressing the responsibility of the role. She reassured me that she would be up to the task and wants to do anything she needs to for this role because she loves me and I am her best friend. After this I gave her and her mom their bridesmaids/MOH proposal cards and we all cried and they both accepted.

Here’s where the problems come in. Bestfriend is having more issues with boyfriend, and is calling me every few days for advice on what to do. I am being supportive of what she would want, ie:not telling her to just leave him because I knew that wasn’t going to help. They break up and get back together like 5-7 times over the past few months, still living in hotels and she’s still getting emotional support from me regarding the whole situation because I’m her bestie. Because of all of this, she hasn’t been involved in wedding planning/hasn’t even asked me about anything at all or if there is anything she can help with. Well, she finally breaks up with boyfriend in late June and moves in with her mom. I went to see her and do birthday stuff with her on her birthday in early July, (this was the first time I saw her since the April lunch to ask her to be my MOH) and I didn’t talk wedding because it was her birthday. Since then we planned to see eachother 2x at my place to work on wedding stuff but both times she has ghosted me last minute and said something like “I just didn’t think you wanted to hang out today.” The second time I sent her a text outlining that I was disappointed in the fact that she ghosted me and then basically blamed it on me that she didn’t show up. (This was the first time I stood up for myself regarding anything in this situation.) It’s been 8 days and no reply. Yesterday I made the decision to write her a letter outlining how I feel I’ve been supporting her all year and she hasn’t been supporting me in the same way (this doesn’t only apply to wedding stuff, she hasn’t been there for me regarding life stuff either at all this year.) and also demoting her form MOH. I drove to her house (45min) and dropped it off out of fear if I mailed it she would say she never got it. I had also asked the bride group chat about possible dates for the bachelorette over a week ago with a due date of today for everyone to reply. No suprise here, neither her nor her mom have responded. I sent a follow up today, and am trying to remain hopeful, but…now I’m second guessing having her and her mom as bridesmaids in the first place. Why would I want two people standing by my side on the most important day of my life that have shown more and more recently that they don’t care as much about me as I thought they did.

Financial disclaimer: No, I am not being unreasonable with how much they are having to spend on the actual wedding things. Their dresses are $99-$129. I am not requiring hair and makeup to be done professionally, but have an artist at $100/makeup & $80 per hair IF THEY CHOOSE. Shoes can be anything (flats/heels/slides) as long as they are nude and work with their dress. She will be in the same accommodation as her mom, and the cabin is $79 a night. Bachelorette party is combined with bachelor party to help everyone save on spending for that weekend (in total the whole weekend may cost $100 pp) so in reality we are talking a POSSIBLE $250-450, depending on what she CHOOSES to buy/do. So I do not think this is unreasonable.

aith for wanting to drop her and her mom from my wedding party? (Yes I know that this is probably a friendship ending move, and at this point I’m okay with that. I just want a resolution)

advice: I don’t know how to get this resolved. At this point I am just ready to move on from the situation because I have been crying about it way too much and it’s really been affecting me.