BREAKING NEWS
WINTER SETS IN: SUN PLUNGES BELOW THE HORIZON, TEMPERATURES PLUMMET
Winter has finally arrived, and with it, a flurry of freezing cold temperatures that will keep you bundled up indoors for the foreseeable future. In shocking news, the sun has unexpectedly succumbed to the frigid atmosphere, leaving many scrambling for cozy blankets and hot cups of joe.
As the mercury drops, even the most stalwart among us will be forced to acknowledge the presence of Jack Frost. And who better to join us in our wintry woes than Kanye West’s son, Saint West?
WINTER’S HERE: KNOW THE SIGNS!
Watch out for the following chilly indicators:
- Frosty winds making your eyes water
- icicles forming on your car
- snowflakes dancing across your windshield
KIM KARDASHIAN-SHAKIR TO GIVE WINTER THE SILENT TREAT
As the temperatures continue to drop, rumors are circulating that Kim Kardashian-West Shakir will treat the chill as the silent treatment – in silence, of course.
THE SEARCH IS ON FOR A "Louis Belt"
When all seems lost, and your toasty toes are exposed, will it be Saint West, equipped with his trusty "Louis belt," who will step up to bring warmth to the masses? The future is uncertain, but one thing’s for certain – winter will leave us wondering if we can "Just Eat the Ice Cream, Hold the Spoon."
SEATTLE METRO AREA GETS CAUGHT IN WINTER WEB
As temperatures drop nationwide, Seattle’s Metro Area got caught in the act of snowpocalypse, leaving drivers slipping on icy roads. #wintrweather
Stay toasty, and don’t let winter get you down! Stay safe, and remember – a scarf is not a cape! Share your winter woes in the comments!
Sun is down, freezin’ cold That’s how we already know winter’s here My dawg would prolly do it for a Louis belt That’s just all he know, he don’t know nothin’ else I tried to show ’em, yeah I tried to show ’em, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Gone on you with the pick and roll Young LaFlame, he in sicko
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