Graduated and 2022 and I ruined my life. I need help getting back on track

I graduated in 2022, my mid 2022-late 2023 time was as amazing as any 18-19 year old could ask for. I made nearly 110k! at 19. I Worked as a SDR and Security guard and worked 70-80 hours a week, I stuck 90% of every dollar I made into tech ETFs and bluechip stocks and made 30-40% returns somehow (Mainly from Tesla/Meta crash)

By June 2023 I had about 80k in my bank account, the sky was the limit. I quit both jobs, switched to a online school. And Imagined myself as graduating online school early and becoming an extremely successful dude but over the past year I have done almost NOTHING. When I quit my job I was extremely happy and gave myself a break, I spent a month going to the gym everyday and playing videogames that I didn't have the time to play before. After that, my mom had a cancer diagnosis and I lost my high school sweetheart and I went into a spiral. From around August-December 2023 I was extremely depressed and alone, thinking my mother was gonna die and I had abandoned all of my friends previously from being a workaholic.

At the beginning of 2024, I began to reunite with my high school friends, my cousin who used to be like a brother to me and I began patching things up with my girlfriend, but everything still felt fake to me

This is when my drug use began. Around this time I began using light opioids, mainly pills, codeine etc. I was "functional" because I didn't have a job, but I loved it, I could just go to the gym for 2-3 hours, do a full day of lifting,swimming, sauna, cardio, shower etc and then go home and sleep 14-17 hours because of pills

Later on, I began studying for my new semester and I quit opioids and began using stimulants. I have gone as low as Modafinil all the way to being as high as desoxyn/ectasy (medical m3th). I don't really have a problem with using these, I drink gallons and gallons of water and I don't overdose it and use it responsibly but I do still feel like I require this to function now. I may use desoxyn once or twice a month if I have day long schedule but I just Vyvanse/Adderall now

I began smoking weed and eating edibles around March along with some shrooms responsibly. I had really bad backpain from a lifting injury and tried to cope with a edible and I got extremely high, full on disassociation and then I began hallucinating. I just forced myself to sleep and had a minor headache when I woke up next morning but it was just a odd experience. But one day… I took a edible in the midday, around 2pm, then tried to use a vape pen, the oil was so viscous that I had to inhale as hard as I could to clear the airway and I ended up with a glob of the oil being on my tongue. I just took it out of my mouth and washed my mouth out and tthought nothing of it. I fell asleep 20 minutes later and woke up a hour later in a state of INSANE derangement. I felt like I was having a heart attack and I was paralyzed with extreme anxiety etc, I have never been weak like this and Its the first time I ever wanted to go to the hospital. I had a high last for 2 days and a headache/anxiety for a week. I quit weed/shrooms after this and haven't touched it since

(I put a spoiler on this because I realized this is insane amount of filler that I made off of vyvanse)

During the 3-6 months later I had a terrible semester, failing out despite being a constant 4.0 student that overachieved, my counselors and advisors were shocked and wanted to know if anything was wrong but I couldn't tell the truth. My new semester just began and I lie to myself and tell myself things will be different but I still feel like I will underperform here. And over this past summer, I found out that my mothers cancer diagnosis was false, which should be amazing news, but they then found out that she has a potential disorder similar to AIDS that destroys her autoimmune system and white/red blood cell count. I forgot about school and used that time to spend 12-16 hours taking care of her and researching online how to help with her illness. By the grace of God, she has been substantially better over the past month. She can now walk, her skin is now full and tan and not deathlily pale and now I finally feel free to take control of my life again

I really love the freedom of not working, but It is also a trap. I want to retain this freedom without being a complete bum. My main goal is to graduate from my online CS program as fast as possible, get a remote job/hybrid job and spend my free time dedicating my life to the gym/BJJ/Judo and my hobbies. My life now just feels like a waiting game until Im able to do that

I just realized that a lot of this is rambly, but I will just go ahead and say what I need help with

1. Completely focusing in on school and forgetting about other outside stressors

2. Being able to properly relax, Can't play video games or watch youtube without a monkey on my back telling me to get back to studying

3. Being able to go to the gym consistently, I have been better at this over the past 2 weeks, But If I go to the gym in the morning, I feel like its impossible to study or do anything productive outside of cleaning and menial tasks and If I go later in the day I feel extremely tired

TLDR: Made 110k as a 18 year old, quit my job and stayed home for a year. Became a lazy underachiever and have wasted a large portion of that money on failed business ventures and consumerism feel mentally destroyed and just want to learn how to focus on school and act like a 20 year old for once.