BREAKING NEWS
ZombieCampus Epidemic Spreads Across Country in Week One
Date: March 10, 2023
In a shocking turn of events, the mysterious ZombieCampus epidemic, which began spreading rapidly on social media, has now infected thousands of people across the country in just one week. The bizarre illness, characterized by zombie-like symptoms and an insatiable appetite for coffee and energy drinks, has left health experts and authorities scrambling to contain the outbreak.
What’s Happening:
According to reports, the first cases of ZombieCampus were detected in major universities and colleges across the country. The initial symptoms include excessive tiredness, lack of coordination, and an intense craving for coffee and energy drinks. As the infection progresses, affected individuals begin to exhibit zombie-like behavior, including stumbling, moaning, and an increased desire for brain food.
Casualties Mount:
As the number of infections continues to rise, the toll on the country’s education system is mounting. Many universities and colleges have been forced to shut down or restrict operations, leaving thousands of students and staff without access to essential services. The economic impact of the outbreak is expected to be significant, with losses in productivity and revenue estimated to be in the millions.
Government Response:
The government has issued a statement assuring the public that it is doing everything in its power to contain the outbreak. Authorities have set up quarantine zones in affected areas and are working closely with healthcare professionals to develop a vaccine. Meanwhile, citizens are advised to remain vigilant and avoid close contact with anyone exhibiting symptoms of the disease.
Expert Analysis:
Dr. Jane Smith, a leading epidemiologist, has expressed concern about the rapid spread of the disease. "ZombieCampus is a highly contagious and potentially deadly illness. We need to act quickly to contain it and find a cure before it’s too late." She added, "The key to stopping this outbreak is to prevent further transmission. I urge everyone to follow strict hygiene protocols and avoid close contact with infected individuals."
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Stay Tuned for Updates:
This is a developing story, and we will provide updates as more information becomes available. In the meantime, follow us on social media for the latest news and analysis on the ZombieCampus epidemic.
So, the good news is that these are standard zombies. The bad news is that about a million of them were released on Campus, and there's only about five thousand students. Now, logically, that would mean that if we can each take out about 30 or 40 zombies a day, we'd have campus clear by the end of the week. Ignoring the fact that more zombies will be released, I've noticed a few problems:
Anyone who can is avoiding combat entirely, or maybe taking a few potshots every now and then
The Necromancy students have started building up hoards of their own – and they're getting protective
The Earthmoving students are trying to build a tunnel system that connects all of the major safezones – I give it
50/50 odds of collapsing or being overrun by the end of next week
Some idiot Firecaller has just been lighting zombies on fire and leaving, forgetting that it takes flames in excess of 1400 degrees (for like two hours) to cremate them – so now there are a bunch of half-burned zombies surrounded by their own mini-hoards roaming around
Oh, and the hoard around the dining hall is so bad that it's almost worth skipping lunch. Almost.
Based on how many nails I've used, I've taken out about three hundred – assuming 60% accuracy. Thankfully, I've been able to avoid the worst of it by sticking to open streets and keeping up a brisk walking pace, so unlike a bunch of students, I haven't 'died' yet.
As an added bonus, the extra practice with Windcalling and Metallurgy is paying off – I don't really need the nails anymore, the wind is cutting right through the Zombies, and I think I made a gunpowder variant out of metal. Sadly, anything stronger is banned by the Rules, so time to switch elements. Earth and Water, I guess.
And the first mission is to hunt down and kill a 'special' zombie. No notes on what makes a zombie special, so I'm assuming the standard horrors.
I also don't feel like dealing with it, so I'll just be here, putting the finishing touches on the demiplane I'll be using to feed my entire world. Now I just need to master the last required magic, arrange for transportation and logistics, and hide the fact I'm using magic from Mundane eyes.
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