MMW: After moving to Russia for the promise of the conservative utopia being built there, we will see MAGAs who denounced their citizenship begging to be allowed to come back to the US.

They will complain about:

1. No McDonald's – How do these people survive without a Big Mac? Fast food here is nothing like home.

2. Limited Fast Food Choices – Where’s Chick-fil-A or Taco Bell? All I see is weird versions of American chains.

3. No Walmart – What do you mean there’s no Walmart? I just want to buy everything in one place!

4. Slow Internet – The internet here is so slow, I can’t even stream Fox News!

5. No Freedom of Speech – I miss being able to criticize the government without worrying about consequences.

6. Censorship of News – Where’s the free press? Everything is controlled by the state here, it’s like CNN on steroids!

7. Limited Gun Rights – What do you mean I can’t own guns like in the U.S.? How am I supposed to defend myself?

8. No Big Pickup Trucks – Where are the F-150s and the massive trucks? I’m stuck driving a tiny car!

9. Cold War Nostalgia – It feels like I’ve stepped back into the Cold War. Where’s the freedom we fought for?

10. No Amazon Prime – Wait, no Amazon Prime? How do people get their stuff delivered in two days here?

11. Bureaucratic Red Tape – Why does everything take forever to get done here? Back home, it’s quick and efficient.

12. Government Surveillance – I thought the NSA was bad, but here it feels like Big Brother is everywhere.

13. Poor Customer Service – Customer service is terrible here. Where’s that American ‘the customer is always right’ attitude?

14. No Free Refills – They don’t do free refills in restaurants? That’s un-American!

15. Lack of Religious Freedom – I’m a Christian, and I feel like I can’t even openly practice my faith here.

16. No 24/7 Convenience Stores – Where are the 24-hour stores? I can’t even get a late-night snack!

17. Harder to Find American TV Shows – I can’t even find reruns of 'The Apprentice' or any decent American TV shows!

18. Driving Restrictions – The roads here are terrible, and the traffic rules make no sense.

19. Limited English Speakers – Why doesn’t anyone speak English? It’s like they expect me to know Russian or something.

20. No Super Bowl or American Sports – How do I watch football here? They don’t even care about the Super Bowl!

21. Lack of Political Debate – No one even debates politics here. It’s like everyone just follows orders.

22. No Good Barbecue – Where’s the proper BBQ? These Russian grills are nothing like back home.

23. Overly Strict Laws – Everything here is regulated to the extreme. Can’t even jaywalk without worrying about a ticket.

24. Too Much Bureaucracy – You need paperwork for everything here. I miss the freedom to just get stuff done!

25. Lack of Patriotism – I don’t see anyone flying their country's flag like we do in America. Where’s the national pride?