4 weeks in! Some thoughts about life and norms on this sub

Hi Everyone, I'm 4 weeks in, yay! I have zero cravings because I know I have to quit for my anxiety / nervous system. I imbibed for 15 years. I quit once before, a year back, and the timeline seems about the same. 3 weeks in I started to feel a bit better and last time, at the 6 week mark, I started to just feel more awake all the time. After 2 months, I tried to have 1 or 2 cups a week and we all know how that went… So this time, none forever, including decaf. I was a huge coffee geek and even a home roaster, so I love the stuff (and tea and yerba mate), but it's not an ally for me, even slightly.

A few things I've noticed from this sub that concern me (not negatively about the sub! Just that I think this might help some people), are expectations post quitting and expectations about life in general. After being hopped up for so long, and in a culture where reality shows are edited with lots of fast cuts, made to be dramatic, life will feel pretty "even" and less dramatic after quitting. The posts I've read about "it's not caffeine, your life just sucks," I think are trying to be helpful, though I think it can be framed and navigated in a different way or with a different mindset and expectation.

If we are dependent on chemicals to "feel," then we think they are helping us, but they are just artificially giving us the excitement when it's not really present. 2 ways to look at this are 1) There's nothing we are inherently excited about and 2) Maybe those levels of excitement don't NEED to be present.

1. Of course anhedonia is real and terrible. I'm not going to deny that. I can't help but wonder if at least some people complaining about anhedonia / lack of motivation, and thinking caffeine will help, need to look at optimizing aspects of their life. If someone wakes up and doom scrolls for an hour, they are done for the day. They will only feel like shit after. If this isn't you, then you are the exception, not the rule. The youtuber Dr. K made a whole video on this and it can be proven with brain scans and which parts of the brain light up when doom scrolling or wasting time on youtube etc, that it's near impossible to be productive / motivated after that. This isn't a caffeine vs no caffeine issue. To get dopamine (motivation) releases, there needs to be a goal. Doesn't have to be a big life thing. It can be incredibly small. Entire books have been written on this of course, but it's worth mentioning this small tidbit because I read so many lack of motivation posts, and we're on reddit and likely modern humans who doom scroll, are inundated by negative news, maybe dissatisfied with life, etc., so setting ourselves up to feel like shit. And of course, one can also look at diet, health metrics, exercise, gratitude, community, etc, etc, etc. Or sleep. Staring at a phone in bed will lower melatonin and you won't sleep as well which affects everything negatively. The TLDR is it might not be about caffeine.
2. Maybe we aren't supposed to feel the way we think we should. Maybe caffeine and this society and tik tok and reality shows have lied to us about the pacing of life and how it is supposed to be. Maybe we need to realize the recalibration after caffeine is much different than we thought it would be and for some people, might lead to the desire for a simpler life and less stimulus. Maybe it's not normal to have Shakespearean emotions and highs and lows throughout the day. Anyone would understand the problem if someone needed MDMA to feel anything and would understand a recalibration and expectations reset is necessary, but it's the same with the most ubiquitous exogenous chemical on earth, caffeine. The TLDR is we might have unrealistic expectations of what life should feel like.

Some subreddits / contemplations I really like are r/simpleliving and r/digitalminimalism. I think the post caffeinated world for some of us will have to be a different navigation about our personal lives and day to day living and what that looks like and needs to stop being about caffeine vs no caffeine, which is just like an alcoholic convincing themselves they need it to have fun / feel ok. I sat down with good intentions, but as I was writing, I felt like I was ranting, so hopefully this didn't come off too negative lol. I meant it to be helpful and hopefully spark a personal (with yourself) conversation and personal habit navigation.