BREAKING NEWS
Moving Abroad: The Bittersweet Decision to Leave Mom Behind
As the travel craze continues to engulf the world, many people are making the bold move of leaving their home countries and starting anew in exotic foreign lands. But amidst the excitement and adventure lies a daunting reality: for some, this means parting ways with loved ones left behind.
For today’s breaking news, we follow the story of John Doe, a 35-year-old marketing executive, as he prepares to depart the UK for a five-year stint in Australia with his new company. Leaving his mother, who turns 65 this year, to navigate the challenges of getting older without her loved son by her side has brought John to tears, writes our correspondent.
While he’s thrilled about this chance to grow professionally, personal doubts have crept into his mind. In the following interview, we touched on the emotional difficulties associated with leaving family, how to maintain relationships and his top tips for newbies considering a similar shift abroad.
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"When I first told mum that I was leaving," recalls John, "there were tears, and also concern about how she’s going to manage on her own. It’s challenging as a parent to feel proud of your child making something of themselves, only for them to leave because work demands it."
Since her husband’s passing some 10 years ago, his mother has been heavily relied upon for emotional and daily support. John conveys his gratitude for what he’s learned from this matriarch, even recognizing the sacrifices she had made for him.
"There comes a point where mom becomes the rock, being her rock, but even mom needs a rock; even mom needs support at her age," he elaborated.
John is far from alone in this cross-continental dilemma. Overcoming the emotional hurdles tied to leaving family behind appears all too common among many travelers. We’ve caught the attention of a UK migration expert, who pointedly notes that, nowadays, it’s more popular to move abroad than previously before.
"More frequently now, we’re talking of people who have previously seen their parents age prematurely after a family member decides to leave the country – these are the people coming before us, the current demographic," the expert cautioned.
Would appreciate any advice or experiences with moving away from home.
I’m a 26 year old lawyer from an Asian immigrant family. In fact it’s just me, my twin sister and my mum. I’m moving overseas because it’s that point in my career, all of my colleagues are going overseas at this junction to fast track their careers and get paid significantly more.
I started interviewing and have now secured multiple attractive offers, all of which have been made on my condition that I start straight after Christmas holidays. I am not moving far (NZ to AUS). I intentionally did not choose to go to London or Dubai etc which is more typical for lawyers similar to me. I chose to stay close so I could travel back relatively frequently.
My mum lives by herself in a home that the three of us (including my sister) financed and bought together. Me and my sister moved out when we got the house a couple of years ago (it was always meant to be a house my mum would live in alone). Me and my sister contribute substantially to the mortgage repayment every month. We visit her at least every second weekend (staying the night).
My mum literally only has us to live for. No hobbies no friends no partner and she cut ties with her parents/ family. She’s not a bad person but she has always been depressed and has deliberately and non-deliberately gaslit us and guilt tripped us ever since we were in high school.
My sister is staying in the country but she happens to be going on her OE for 5 months travelling Europe with her long term partner at the same time I am leaving for AUS.
I told her that I was interviewing for places tonight. I had been talking to her, making her aware of my plan to move for over a year. This is not news to her. But when I told her I was interviewing she was overtly devastated.
Has anyone had a similar experience? I feel so guilty and anxious. I feel like I’m abandoning her. I keep imagining how depressed and sad she will be all on her own for months.
Practically I am going to try come back to visit her every 2 months and buy her flights to come see me everyone other month. But I don’t know how to deal with it emotionally. I just want reassurance that she will be okay.
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Someone who is 34 and who couldnt do it speaking: feels good or not, just do it. Just remove the band-aid. It will fine tomorrow, next month or year, it will be fine in the end
As someone whose brother left but himself couldn’t. Just go. Its painful, far from ideal and just downright miserable to think of your mother living alone.
You will be better off, happier in the long run and you would learn life lessons which you wouldn’t be able to do living with your mum.
It is how it is, thats how life works. You cannot keep everyone together and happy all the time and be happy yourself. Learn to be selfish. Eastern cultures sometimes, do not teach you how to keep your needs ahead of your parents and this is what ultimately leads to the dilemma. Just go.