AITAH for snapping at my friend when she invalidated my weight loss journey?

I, 30F, am a big runner (ran track in HS/college and have done marathons/ultras since) and as a result have always been fairly thin. I had a pretty severe knee injury last February (first time I wasn’t able to run for over a week, let alone 19 months) and have since gained roughly 30 pounds. I used to run 4-6 miles every day of the week with a 15-20 miler on Saturdays, sometimes more if I was training for a race. I can’t ever really run like that again, as I lost a ton of cartilage in the injury. It’s definitely been hard. More than the weight gain, I’ve struggled with my identity and managing my stress, as running has always been a very meditative outlet for me that has defined my life in a lot of ways. I was feeling very low at the end of last and beginning of this year, and constantly felt a lack of grounding without my daily runs.

In February of this year I decided to lose the weight (even though it wasn’t that much) and find alternative activities that mirror what I love about running. I picked up swimming and weight lifting over time. It isn’t quite the same but I’m learning to respect my body’s boundaries and recognize that health has to be holistic, and I can’t rely on this one thing to make me happy (especially when it’s something as hard on your body as running). As I’ve gotten stronger and started focusing on other health goals, I’ve trimmed down back to my old weight, and weirdly enough I feel better and healthier than I ever have because I’ve started paying more attention to what my body needs, vs. what I want it to do.

I have a close friend Sally. I’ve known her since 10th grade and we’ve stayed very close since. She saw how down in the dumps I was when I got injured and came over with wine one night when I broke down in tears of frustration two months into the crutches.

Sally’s always been on the heavier side. She’s a bit shorter than me and has huge boobs, which has made her insecure around me in the past. Weight has always been a touchy subject, especially in high school when I was ultra thin from training all the time. Ever since we graduated college, she’s always on some diet or gets into some exercise fad, but it never really sticks. I have always avoided talking about weight or exercise with her because it always gets awkward and tense.

I guess I should have seen this coming then, but she’s been really salty any time I allude to the journey I’ve been on this year. She was really supportive when the injury first happened, but when I started to change my mindset, she started to make nasty comments here and there. Like when I got a Garmin to track my splits in the pool, she made a snarky joke about how I’m a freak with fitness and need to chill. I’ve been trying to eat more protein because of the lifting, and any time I order a big piece of tuna or chicken or something, she’ll feel the need to comment on it.

I finally hit my breaking point with the nitpicking and policing the other day when we went shopping. SHE wanted to go into a swimsuit store, which I already knew would be bad news, and then I tried on a string bikini I thought was cute because she was trying on a million suits. I didn’t want to come out because I knew it would trigger something, but she kept insisting that I did, and when I stepped outside she rolled her eyes didn’t say anything and went back into her changing room.

I felt really awkward so I went back into mine took of the swimsuit and waited outside on a chair while she tried the rest of her stuff on. We went to get coffee after and she isn’t saying anything and is clearly pissed. Finally I asked her what’s wrong and she says she doesn’t understand why I lost weight or felt the need to because I’ve never been fat and I don’t need to have a certain body and that “normal people like to chill”. I explain (even though she already knows this) that this year has been more about finding other hobbies that give me joy and actually caring about my health overall vs. running a ton, being weak and eating whatever I want to. She then goes into how it’s so unfair and ends up saying that I didn’t deserve to lose the weight.

I get really pissed because I’ve worked really hard to pivot my mindset after the injury and also done a ton of PT to even get to this point. I’m also pissed that my friend can’t just be happy that her friend is no longer sad as hell. I snap back and tell her that what I do with my body is my fucking choice and I refuse to be bitched out for it. She left and we haven’t spoken since (happened two days ago).

I do feel kind of bad because I know this is ultimately her projecting her own body frustrations onto me and also it probably is difficult being around me given that it’s something she struggles with. I do however feel like she’s kind of being a shit friend by choosing to belittle me instead of channeling that energy into her own mindset. I can’t figure out if I was in the right or not, and as a result I’m struggling to find words to text her.

AITAH for snapping at her?