Chappell Roan – The Musical

SUPER LONG POST BELOW!

tl;dr: I turned Chappell's full discography into a musical telling a fictional story of love and loss.

This incorporates The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess as well as her music from 2017 through 2020. Many of these are songs I'd never even heard of but they're well worth a listen to. Her most popular stuff is so happy and upbeat that it's easy to forget how much she can pull on your heartstrings when she slows things down. Her ballads are powerful, even if they're not quite as heavy on the dopamine.

Oh, and as a disclaimer that I want to make very clear, I am not hypothesizing any of this as real or reflective of Chappell Roan's intention with the songs. My goal was 100% just to come up with a compelling fictional narrative from the music.

Anyway, this is what I got:

Link for Spotify!

1. Meantime (School Nights, 2017)

Our heroine (let's call her Chappell) recounts a childhood friend from summer camp (let's call her A.) with whom there might've been more than a little bit of feeling than she was willing to admit at the time. Nonetheless, she sings she'll always love this friend "in the meantime."

1. Femininominon (Midwest Princess, 2023)

Flash forward to early adulthood and Chappell's found herself living in New York, perhaps to study music in college or something similar. Her sexual appetites have fully awakened and she finds herself in a bit of a rutt because men… well, they just don't seem to be "scratching the itch" for her these days, when all she really wants is a… Femininominon! (A what? A femininominon!)

1. After Midnight (Midwest Princess)

Undaunted, Chappell takes to the clubs and loses herself to wanton hedonism. She runs into a cute couple and can't decide who she wants to kiss more: the boyfriend or the girlfriend. Why's she feeling so frisky? Maybe it's the club lights. After all, she loves a little drama. Let's start a bar fight! In any case, everything good happens after midnight.

1. Sugar High (School Nights)

At some point, things almost work out between her and a guy – the "chocolate covered lover" she calls "candy man." The candy man probably gets her closer to having a femininominon than any other lad before him. Maybe it's the taste of his "caramel apple kiss," with his "heart so sweet." Whatever it is, he gives her a real sugar high, and she's here for it! At least until…

1. Naked in Manhattan (Midwest Princess)

A. visits from Chappell's hometown. Chappell, getting her from the airport, is smitten all over again – every time is like a new crush (high school love again). Of course, she'd never indulge the feelings; never cross that line, pushing down her feelings like she's done a million times before. But this time, they keep swarming her head like the cicadas they listened to during summer camp, and this time she gives in. What's the worst that could happen? I mean, they could go to hell, but they'll probably be fine!

1. School Nights (single, 2018)

The fling with A. leaves an impression on Chappell. For the brief time they're together, it feels like being kids again: drawing tattoos on each others' forearms, popping bubblegum too loud, etc. Of course, their families back home are preachin' that they're hellbound, but Chappell doesn't think so. She triple-dog dares A. to impress her like a school fight, and pinky promise that she'll never lie!

1. Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl (Midwest Princess)

Eventually, A. goes back home to Missouri, leaving Chappell to grapple with her now uncertain sexuality. She decides to give men one last try, but it doesn't work. With her heels on and her hair straight, she takes her date to this bar and he wouldn't even dance! He didn't a single question, and those jeans? Ick! Nope. It's official: Chappell Roan is done with men.

1. Good Hurt – Aevion Remix (single, 2017)

The search for a super graphic ultra modern girl like Chappell gets off to a rocky start, as her own impatience gets in the way. If a girl can't bite her tongue then Chappell does it for them. She can taste the hesitation! It's so defeating. She sees a doctor who prescribes her some medication but that doesn't really help. In the end, she accepts the cold hearted frustration as something she'll just have to live with. But if it's gonna hurt, at least it should be a good hurt. The real problem, of course, is that none of them compare to A.

1. Picture You (Midwest Princess)

So what's a girl to do? Draw the blinds, light a bunch of candles, slip off her dress, lay down, and think of A. The only problem is, no matter how many lipstick stains she puts on the mirror, it's just not the same. The only consolation is that maybe… A's picturing her, too?

1. Die Young (School Nights)

Her schooling finished, Chappell heads back to her hometown, excited to reconnect with the love of her life! But this isn't the big city anymore, and A's family is a lot less accepting than Chappell's. A's mom thinks she's going to die from this, while her dad thinks he's helping by forcing her to deny her own heart. Because of this, she pushes Chappell away, won't pick up her calls, and tells Chappell all she needs to do is pray. Her thoughts take a dark turn, as she thinks maybe she'll be able to escape this nightmare by dying young.

1. Bad for You (School Nights)

Chappell and A. do end up seeing one another in secret. For a time, it's euphoric; their mutual embrace is the only time both of them can be authentically who they are. Now, when Chappell lies in bed thinking about her lover, she knows her lover's also thinking about her. Sure, the town still has its issues with them, but Chappell doesn't care. She's more than happy to be a bad influence.

1. Kaleidoscope (Midwest Princess)

The pressure from A's parents breaks them up again. No matter how many times she tries, Chappell just can't breach the shell constructed around her. All she can do is watch from a distance as their love shifts by the day. It's like she's looking through a kaleidoscope. Turning it left and right, even upside down, it just keeps changing, even as it always seems to stay the same. It's beautiful, somehow, but they've crossed the line already, and things can never go back to the way they were. Even the way Chappell writes her lover's name is different. That cursive letter, A…

1. Good Luck, Babe! (single, 2024)

It's fine, it's cool! A. broke up with her for the final time, saying they had nothing even though she knows the truth. Sure she looks like a fool but she's done being jerked around like this. If A. really wants to deny her own feelings, well, she'd have to stop the world to do it no matter how many guys she kisses at the local five bar, but it's not Chappell's problem anymore. She just wants someone who will call her "baby", so she wishes A. good luck and moves on with her life.

1. Pink Pony Club (Midwest Princess)

Chappell needs to get the hell out of Dodge. After a brief move to her mom's house in Tennessee where she signs her first record deal, she packs her bags and heads off to LA. She's heard about this club in West Hollywood where boys and girls can all be queens, every single day, and she's excited to see it for herself. Though initially horrified at the prospect of her precious daughter turning into a "pink pony girl", Chappell reassures her it's where she's most happy, and that her and Tennessee will always be on her mind.

1. HOT TO GO! (Midwest Princess)

Chappell's first major single is a hit, and all the clubs in LA want her to perform live to packed crowds! It's all so exciting, even as it takes a toll on her physical health. It's worth it to see the throngs of beautiful women flocking to the sound of her music! On at least one occasion, she dedicates the performance to a smoking hot bombshell (let's call her, B.) who catches her eye. At the end of one of Chappell's shows, they take a cab together to see where the night takes them.

1. Red Wine Supernova (Midwest Princess)

It's a whirlwind romance – a veritable supernova of magic and red wine – between Chappell and this Playboy Brigitte Bardot of hers. Unlike her previous dalliance with A., this time she's able to be out and open! B. shows her things she's never seen before, takes her to places she's never been before, introduces her to people she's never met before. It's all so fun that Chappell doesn't even care she's a stoner.

1. Guilty Pleasure (Midwest Princess)

The romance escalates, and it just feels so GOOD! Chappell's learning new moves on the internet; new ways to please her partner. She's so perverted, a pothead and a cinephile but that's guilty pleasure for you. The first cracks start to form, as Chappell can't help but notice B's reluctance to turn up the dial on their relationship, but maybe she can treat it like a cigarette – just draw it out and never quit.

1. Good Hurt (School Nights)

Chappell's impatience surfaces again as B's mannerisms begin to chafe. The brusque manner she once found so endearing now stands as something of an obstacle between them. To make matters worse, when Chappell confesses her love, B. laughs it off! Granted, it was an accident when she said it but… well, maybe it wasn't? Maybe she was just being manipulative? It's hard to say, really. Maybe she should know better but all she really wants is for things to feel good again, even as they hurt.

1. Casual (Midwest Princess)

Chappell's career is not going as well as she'd hoped. The distraction of having a girlfriend who treats her like an idle plaything is heavy on her mind, but it takes a friend pointing this out for her to realize that she's just being used. Even though she's met the family (B's mom even invited her to her house in Long Beach), they're still no closer to moving in together (it's really just a bra she leaves in B's dresser). Rumors are even beginning to circulate that B's friends are in on the joke. The cruel thing is, B. doesn't even get her off! How on Earth did Chappell let this go on for so long? How did she end up hating herself? This b- can go straight to hell…

1. Coffee (Midwest Princess)

In a last-ditch attempt to reconcile, the two move in with each other, but it doesn't work. The toxic partnership just keeps sliding back into meaningless hookups and no firm commitment. Shortly after they move in together, B. kicks Chappell out while leaving her name on the lease – a move which ruins her credit and pisses her off, but more about that later. Nevertheless, the two keep meeting, but soon Chappell realizes the only safe place for them to do so is over coffee, and even then, what's the point?

1. Bitter (single, 2018)

Chappell falls into a crippling depression. After getting caught with a toy gun in her mouth, she's put on more medication, but she still feels like she's made of jade. B. keeps reaching out, promising to do better but Chappell knows that's a lie. Her only consolation is the bitterness, because it's the only thing that makes her feel better.

1. California (Midwest Princess)

Her musical career in tatters, Chappell is dropped by her label. Despondent and homesick, she writes her mom saying how much she misses her dying hometown. She begs someone, anyone to come rescue her from the nightmare California has become. It's such a shame how close she was to having it all. Too bad nobody told her she was doomed to fail.

1. Die Young – Acoustic (single w/ Bitter, 2018)

A. meets Chappell at the airport. Despite everything, they're still friends. A's made some changes in her life, having gotten her own place and learned to accept herself. Her mom and dad still try to get her to deny that part of herself but she's not listening to them anymore. Now, she knows that even if she dies young, at least she'll be her authentic self.

1. Love Me Anyway (single, 2020)

It takes some time, but the two decide to give it another shot. It wasn't an easy decision, but after rebuilding their friendship, Chappell is reminded of how much they've been through together. The old polaroids that she still keeps in her night stand are reminders of how far they've come. After all, back in summer camp Chappell wouldn't have given her the light of day, and when they had their high school dance, Chappell actually turned her down. Now, in spite of it all, A. still loves her anyway.

1. My Kink is Karma (Midwest Princess)

Six months later, the phone rings, and Chappell just narrowly beats A. to the phone. Turns out it's Katie, who has some hot goss about B. Turns out she lost it on her landlord and got kicked out, moved back into her parents' house, and now the only girls she can get to date her are impressionable young 18 year olds. But oh, it gets better! She crashed her car, dyed her hair during a midlife crisis, and most hilariously of all, she thinks Chappell still gives a single damn about her. Oh, the irony, oh, the Karma. Elated (and more than just a little turned on) by the news, Chappell takes A. to bed, the thought of B's suffering serving as potent foreplay.

At long last, Chappell Roan finally gets the femininominon she truly deserves.