thought i was going to be in a relationship but ended up in a situationship for 5 months

I (20F) had a crush on a guy (20M) in my chemistry lab. He seemed quiet and nerdy, which made me interested. A week before classes ended in April, I followed him on Instagram, and he followed me back. I noticed he posted indie songs on his Instagram notes daily, so I started doing the same (I love indie music too). After a week, he replied to one of my notes asking for my playlist, followed me on Spotify, and added about 20 songs from my playlist to his own.
We talked on Instagram for a few days before seeing each other in lab again. Afterward, we met up to study for our final exam at the library, spending six hours together. I wasn’t sure if he liked me back, but he suggested dinner after studying. We clicked immediately—our conversations flowed naturally, we had so much in common (music, shows, and our personality types meshed well I'm ESTJ and he's INTP), and we shared a 92% Spotify blend match. When I got home that night, he asked me to go mini-golfing that weekend. I wasn’t sure if it was a date, but I said yes.
We hung out a few more times—mini golfing, walking around Barnes and Noble, going to an arcade—before he left for summer break. Despite being away for three months, we kept in touch daily through text and Instagram, and he suggested we FaceTime occasionally. We ended up FaceTiming twice and even called on Discord until 3 a.m., playing “Dress to Impress” together.
Over the summer, he drove back to my city 2-3 times for random errands like haircuts or doctor’s appointments, and we hung out each time. The first time, we had lunch and talked for two hours. The second time, he brought me a birthday gift, and we spent the entire day together—bowling, getting boba, and talking outside my car until 10 p.m. That night, he asked if I had ever dated anyone, and I told him no. He said he hadn’t either, but that he was peer pressured to go on a date in high school with a girl who moved away shortly after.
At this point, I thought he liked me because he initiated plans, flirted with me, and even shared our locations. But something felt off—we never got physical beyond hugging in the five months we spent together. He also sent me around 20+ Instagram reels daily, some of which were really strange to send someone you’re into. The reels were often sexual, like ones that said, "sit on my face," "call me a good boy," "put me on a leash," and references to pegging. I brushed them off, thinking he was just being funny, since we had a shared sense of humor and often exchanged brainrot memes.
When classes resumed in the fall, we started hanging out more regularly—rock climbing, golfing, painting pottery, and working out together. However, I never met his friends, and he always declined invitations to meet mine. He was pretty shy and introverted, but he would say strange things in person too. For instance, once I asked how his day was, and he casually mentioned that he bought tomatoes, cucumbers, and condoms (we were both virgins, so it was weird). Another time, he told me a story from Reddit about a girl who pegged her boyfriend, and then poop came out. I had no idea how to respond, and he just laughed when I told him it was gross.
I also noticed that when I invited him to hang out with my friends, he would usually decline, saying things like, "Oh, I’m only going to talk to you if I go." I tried to explain that my friends were excited to meet him, but he told me he didn’t want to be friends with them and that “things can get messy.” That response seemed odd, but I figured he was just shy or uncomfortable in social situations.
Then, the next day, he asked to talk in person. He was distant and emotionless, and he told me that while he enjoyed the time we spent together, there had always been a romantic spark missing for him. He said he’d talked to his mom the night before, and she suggested he cut things off before leading me on any further. He admitted that he was lonely earlier in the year and knew I liked him, so he decided to see where things would go, hoping feelings would develop—but they never did.
I asked him what he meant by "romantic feelings," and he said, "It’s when you think about someone a lot, picture a future with them, get nervous around them, that kind of thing." I told him that I felt all of those things with him, and he bluntly replied, "Honestly, I don’t even think about you that much." That stung. When I mentioned that he flirted with me, he said that he was either trying to reciprocate my feelings or convince himself that he liked me that way, but in reality, he felt like he was lying to both of us.
He also said he didn’t want to ghost me because he knew how painful that was—he had been ghosted before by girls he liked. This was news to me, as he previously claimed he’d never dated anyone. I found it odd that he didn’t tell me earlier that he’d talked to other girls, especially after making it seem like I was the only person he’d ever pursued. He told me he didn’t see us being in a long-term relationship and that, since he only wanted to date for the long term, it would be a waste of time to keep seeing me. He offered to stay friends but suggested I take space if I still had feelings for him.
As the conversation ended, I asked him what he thought we were, and he said, “Dating. Like, we went on dates.” I was embarrassed by the whole situation and told him I didn’t want to tell my friends about it. His response? "If you really have nobody to talk to, you can always seek professional help." It felt condescending and hurtful. He also said that if he had said these things to the girls he talked to in the past, they would have made a scene, cursed him out, or even started beating him up, and that the worst he expected from me was crying. I didn’t cry.
I went home that day and blocked him on everything except text. I told my mom and friends, and they were shocked. Most of my friends believe he never had serious intentions to date me long-term and might have been hoping for a hookup, but when it didn’t happen, he decided to cut things off. They also pointed out that when guys really like someone, they tend to be more physically affectionate and want to meet their friends, which he never did.
It’s been about two weeks since he ended things, and honestly, I’m doing much better. I have an amazing support system, and talking about it with my friends has helped a lot. I’ve learned a lot from this experience, and hopefully, I’ll know what to look for in the future. I just never thought I would be a situationship survivor LOLL.

TL;DR: I developed a crush on a guy from my chemistry lab, and we spent months hanging out. He flirted with me but never got physical beyond hugging. He also sent me strange Instagram reels (sexual ones like "sit on my face" and "put me on a leash") and made weird comments about buying condoms and inappropriate Reddit stories. He ended things by telling me there was no "romantic spark" and admitted he was just lonely earlier in the year. He also said he didn’t think about me much, which hurt. My friends believe he wasn’t serious about dating and maybe wanted a hookup, but now I’m doing better, thanks to my support system.